No way in the world would I ever have imagined me quoting a member (or previous member) of One Direction but there goes.
To the many of us that have been in failed relationships or who are unfortunately going through one now, this one’s for you.
‘Moving on’ is a two worded phrase that’s so easy to say but so hard to do. Especially when the thing you’re moving on from, is one that you’d invested a LOT of time and energy into.
When I was younger, my dad took me to my first camel ride. I must have been about 9 and I remember chickening out because the other kids on the queue were taller and older. Also, camel’s are very tall and I’m already 5.2ft in my twenties so imagine how much shorter nine-year-old me was!
I didn’t want to do it. ‘What if I fall? What if they all laugh at me?’ … were just two of about a million questions racing through my mind. You know what pops told me? He said to think about how good it will feel to say that I know what it feels like to ride a camel.
He passed on two years ago and with all the crappy things that life has dealt me since I was 9, I can’t help but feel like that was the most important life lesson I’ve ever had.
See the reason we find it hard to ‘move on’ from grief and pain and the sadness that failed relationships bring us, is really because we are afraid of ‘what’s next’.
As life coach and founder of Personal Excellence Celestine Chua puts it,
“We rather stick with suffering that is familiar than pain that we don’t know“.
But what if we were to have unwavering focus on the possibility that what lies ahead is great!
Hanging on to something (or even a memory of something) that isn’t putting a smile on your face isn’t worth it.
That said, if ever you need to hear this… or you know someone that does, here are a few steps on how to move on.
Accept how you feel.
There is nothing wrong with feeling hurt or angry.
Find a good friend or confidant to talk to.
Talking about something that’s bothering you is in itself a form of therapy.
Reduce the amount of time you interact with the situation/person.
In the case of a failed relationship, (and this may not be as easy) forgive!
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
Do the things that you love!
Fill up a lot of your time with things that make you happy! Happy thoughts don’t like to hang out with sad ones.
Meet new people!
It may seem a bit of a risk and this may even be scary but it’s worth it.
Know that there is NOTHING wrong with you!
Recognize there IS better in store for you.
Because you were definitely created for greatness!
Wish you all the best!
My Soul Saturday entries are always to do with matters of the heart. They may not depict what pages of my diary would look like (if ever I kept one) but you know, these are issues that we all at some point of our lives go through.
Rae Kiragu's World 