You KNOW It’s a Woman Behind The Wheel When

For years the perception that men drivers are better than women drivers has been the norm.

I even bet that you’re now half expecting me to detail that ‘you know it’s a woman behind the wheel’ when… you see a tiny car taking forever to reverse into a massive parking space, when the car in the outermost lane of the superhighway is driving snail slow that you now have to overtake on the inner lanes, or better yet, when the driver might as well be planning to make out with the steering thanks to how close her face is to it.

Sorry but no. I’m afraid the tables have turned. Gone are the days when women only drove to get from point A to point B and even then, only drove because their husbands were away.

These days it’s the women who skid past you in a tiny car doing much too high of a speed limit then hoot unnecessarily at you for just being in their way, for being on the road, for existing really, for just being you, for the fact that her boyfriend hasn’t texted her back yet.

Also, unlike men, women are not as ‘clever’ on the roads. You won’t find us shrewdly cutting into lanes in traffic so when you do cut into her while in traffic, two things are sure to happen. Either she will incautiously try to prevent you in which case brace yourself for a scrap or a bump sure to delay your journey by a couple of hours. Or she will try to prevent you in which case brace yourself for a scrape or a bump… you get my point.

Then, this I have found true through my own experience. When it comes to zebra crossings, men almost always give way. Maybe because given how fast most of them drive they know they’ll make up for the few minutes spent waiting. Essentially everyone should wait but women? Not unless there’s a cop in the vicinity and if there isn’t one, then #ZebraCrossingForWho #LawsAreYourFace #She’sGotPlacesToBe #CrossAtYourOwnRisk

Adding onto that, being on the road, I used to think that if you got into an accident with a male driver then you’d be in for it for sure. I mean they are machine gurus. Everyone knows men and cars are one. Cars are their world. But god forbid you so much as graze a lady’s car. Never mind the collection of unsightly scratches amassed from previous accidents women will argue with every ounce of their being, bringing up their financial, emotional and marital issues that you may end up paying regardless of whether or not you were at fault.

Road rage! I once witnessed (and I am not making this up) a woman rev past me to catch up with a matatu which I can only assume had done an immeasurable something that evidently brought out the ferocity in her, a ferocity no match for hell’s fury, because as I witnessed, she threw from her car window (while driving by the way), a number of maize cobs which you bet did not miss their target. Yes. It happened. Begging the question, what in the world happened? But more importantly, who has maize cobs just lying around in their car?

Then this I’m sure you’ll agree with. Women are eternal ‘multitaskers’! You know whoever began the praise, women are great at multitasking may have a created a monster without even knowing it. Now we do it every time. Sometimes non-essentially. Like cooking while watching TV, changing diapers while on the phone, driving while sawing a button. Okay maybe not that last one but women are queens of doing just about any two things at the same time. So instead of being like men and simply texting ‘Driving. Talk later’, we may actually carry on a lengthy discussion about the fate of the world via text while behind the wheel. We may have breakfast, lunch and dinner while in the car and we may (depending on how flexible) even change our outfits in the car and not always when it’s parked. Not sure why though. It’s never really been that serious.

You see? Women are a lot worse than you may be thinking.

Being on the road is no child-play though and it’s therefore important to be aware of the rules and to make a conscious effort to stay safe while driving. That obviously means NOT doing any of those things up there.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Magdalene says:

    Yep, that’s true😅😅😅😅


  2. Jack Mimano says:

    Well you’re mostly right but not many people are that ‘clever’ on the roads no matter the gender. I personally try not to get into a scrap with anyone because the guy behind will probably let you through then you can plot on how to overtake the guy in front and put them in their place 🙂


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